Thursday, October 11, 2012

The Cure For Pain.

There is a song by Jon Foreman called "The Cure For Pain"that has been on my mind recently. This past week has been a shocking few days here in Arkansas. A local anchor on THV was tragically killed Saturday night. Matt Turner went to be with the Lord and left his wife, Julee, and 10 month old baby girl, Preslee, behind on this Earth. Read more here. I was in Minden at my parents house this weekend. I was actually in the bath tub when I read the news on Facebook and I literally sat there in the tub and cried. I cried out to God, 'Why!?' Julee, was my pledge sister at the college we attended, Ouachita Baptist University. While we aren't and never have been BEST friends, I do consider Julee a friend. But even if you had never met Julee like so many of you out there, you can put yourself in her shoes. Perhaps you knew Matt from watching him every night on the local news. Whatever the case, we ache for you, Julee. We hurt for you and your family. Spending those 4 years with Julee, I learned what a kind, sweet and fun loving person she is. Now, I am learning just how strong she is too. Since college we have kept in touch through the many forms of social media: twitter, Facebook, our blogs and my favorite, Instagram. We bonded over our crazy love of our doggies. Seeing Preslee's and her dog, Romeo, show up in my Instagram feed just makes my day. But any time tragedy strikes a friend you want to do something, to say something that will make it all better. There are literally no words that will make her feel better. There are no words to describe the pain and heartache they are all going through. There is no cure for the pain she is feeling. She must feel it in the most intense and raw way for that is the only way she will get through this.

This past week, I have found myself at random times in the day just breaking down in tears. Tragedies in life don't make sense. We don't understand it nor can we even try to. What I am trying to understand and appreciate more is the sanctity of a human life. Every single day is a gift from God. We are not guaranteed 20, 30, 40 years on this Earth. I think so often we get in a hurry to plan for the future, to think to ourselves, "There's always tomorrow" but tomorrow is not certain.

I wrote this on my Facebook wall the day of Matt's funeral and this has constantly been on my mind all day every day since Saturday. When my husband comes home from work, I squeeze him so much tighter now. I don't want to let go. If he or I don't wake up tomorrow, I want him to know how much I love him. I feel guilty though. Guilty that I get to go to bed every night beside my husband and Julee doesn't. It's not fair.

Pain is a part of life. Feeling the pain is a part of grieving. So, while we can't take Julee's pain away, we can show her how much she is loved. The online community has done that so beautifully already. I have been blown away by the sheer volume of people who were touched by both Matt & Julee. If you are friends with Julee or even if you have never met. Even, if you are just now hearing of this tragedy for the first time while reading this, I ask for you to pray for Julee. While we as mere humans, don't have the cure for pain, God can give Julee a peace that transcends understanding. I do hope you find peace, Julee. I hope that through family, friends and a firm faith in God, you find a cure for this pain you are going through. I pray that it hurts a little less each and every day.

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