I ran across this email at work that I thought was too good not to share.
- Go to the grocery store.
- Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
- Go home.
- Pick up the paper.
- Read it for the last time.
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
- Methods of discipline.
- Lack of patience.
- Appallingly low tolerance levels.
- Allowing their children to run wild.
- Sugguest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behaivor.
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
- Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
- At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
- Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
- Set the alarm for 3AM.
- As you can't get back to sleep, get at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
- Go to bed at 2:45AM
- Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
- Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
- Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
This isn't even the whole email but I thought I'd save some for another time. Does this sound like anything I want to RUSH into? I think NOT. On the other hand, everyone I have talked to have said it was all worth it in the end, which I'm sure it is. I'm just not quite ready for it yet. But I have a feeling it'll be here sooner than I think.