Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Let Joy Be Your Compass.

I had a huge long post written and then I deleted it. I struggle every day with just how honest to be on this blog because I don't consider myself to be a on the surface person. I never was good with small talk. I'm real. This is me. Like it or Leave it. But I know not everyone needs or wants to hear my personal whoas. The truth is though, I've been struggling lately with sadness, anxiety, worry, fear, depression... All of these things that don't typically sound like me have consumed me lately and I've been trying to figure out why. Is it because I'm in a new place? Is it because we still have a garage FULL of boxes to unpack? Is it because my husband still does not have a job? Is it because our house hasn't sold in Arkansas? Is it because I picked up my job and moved my new business to a brand new location and basically started over? Is it because we haven't found a home church yet and haven't even been to church in over a MONTH!? YES! YES! YES! All of these things and more!

Everyday when I pull up my computer to do the usual: check Facebook, reply to clients, check my normal blogs, etc. I come to my blog and think hmm what to write a post about... Nothing. I have nothing to say other than I am overwhelmed. I can't do it. I told Buie today that I just wanted to crawl back in bed today and call it quits. He said, Call it quits on what? I said, ON LIFE!

Obviously, he wouldn't let me quit on life or on anything for that matter. It's nice being married to a former football player & coach - he gives great motivational speeches.

Yes, life is overwhelming and yes there is a lot to do. We are going through a lot of major changes in our life right now. Job changes, house changes, going back to school (for Buie) - it's a lot to take in. So it's totally normal that I want to pull my hair out right?

Something that I'm trying to do each day is to do something that I love - something that makes me happy. In the midst of all of this anxiety and worry, I am trying to take time each day even if it's just for 10 minutes to sit outside and just be still. I am happiest when I'm outside. Today I went outside and watched the sunset from my front porch. Even if the rest of the day is nuts, at least for those 10 minutes I had peace and solitude.

In my life right now there is a lot of chaos...but I choose joy instead. Now someone please remind me of this tomorrow when my alarm goes off, mm..k? :)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Cara Beth, I found your blog thru Kellys Korner (an old show us your life link of non-mom bloggers) and I love how honest this post is. We all struggle with anxiety, depression, and a bit of whoa is me from time to time and that quote "Let Joy Be Your Compass" is wonderful. Thanks for sharing!